this is real, this is me
"Emma Stone in Easy A meets Kim Possible meets a strong Bloody Mary."
- Simone Policano, on herself, just now
She graduated from Yale University in 2016 with a B.A. in American Studies with a focus in Theater and Performing Arts. While at Yale she performed with the Yale Dramatic Association, the second-oldest college theatre association in the country, and wrote and performed with Red Hot Poker, Yale's premier sketch comedy group. She also feels fancy when she uses words like "premier."
Simone Policano is the human equivalent of Sriracha--zesty, red, incredibly compatible with avocados. She's an actor, writer, producer and funny[-looking] female born and raised on the West Side (read: Best Side) of New York City, where she spent her early years sharing the Hunter College Elementary School stage with Lin-Manuel Miranda** and accosting all who would listen with her Eliza Thornberry impression. She would show you pictures, but she's burned them. (**Same stage, different decades. A girl can dream.)
Simone has been seen in the Tribeca Film Festival, on Comedy Central, IFC, The New Yorker, and, frequently, the 1 train. She just produced and co-starred in the upcoming psychological thriller This Is Our Home, the tale of a young couple whose weekend getaway is interrupted when a child shows up in the middle of the night claiming to be their son. She also just finished pretending to be the daughter of Richard Kind & Susan Blackwell in the upcoming Black-Mirror-esque sci-fi drama Auggie, about a man who falls in love with his augmented reality companion. The future is scary, folks. By the magic of who knows what, both films just premiered (on the same day!) at the 2019 Cinequest Film Festival in March.
She is currently premiering the Off-Broadway production of The Play That Goes Wrong at New World Stages, so be careful when you tell her to break a leg. She has also performed at the Yale Repertory Theater, The 24 Hour Plays: Nationals, The Tank, and in the NY International Fringe Festival. Some of her favorite roles include Vanda in Venus in Fur, Steph in reasons to be pretty, and Zack in A Chorus Line (it's 2019, people).
Her comedy writing has been published on Lorne Michael's comedy website Above Average, where she writes incredibly powerful pieces of modern American journalism. When she's not acting or putting words together to make them funny, you can find her binge-watching Stranger Things and quietly coming to terms with the fact that no one will ever understand her like her Spotify Discover Weekly playlist.
She also thinks writing in the third person is bizarre, so she's going to stop now.