Simone Policano

Actor | Producer

HIP-HAPPENINgs

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“a star is born” parodies — comedy central + the dad

Jeff Ayars and I seem to have cornered the market on A Star is Born parodies. For Comedy Central we made “An Auteur is Born,” a behind-the-scenes look at life on the ASIB set. Check it out for all the collective Jackson Maine/Gaga wigs and vocal fry you could ever need. (489K+ views) For The Dad we made “A Dad is Born,” a shot-for-shot trailer parody starring Dadley Cooper + Lady Gaga. If you’ve ever wanted to watch me give birth while belting, this one’s for you. (344K+ views)

FEB. 2019


the play that goes wrong @ new world stages

Currently performing with the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society in our smashing new production of The Murder at Haversham Manor! We’re thrilled to bring this true cornerstone of the British theatrical canon to the Big Apple, and we’re sure it will go entirely as planned.

^ If that makes no sense to you, you should come see The Play That Goes Wrong at New World Stages! It is, as the NYTimes decrees, a “gut-busting hit!” I am told it is not my gut that will be busted, but they make no promises.

Click here for tickets!

feb. 2019


“This is our home” + “auggie” both premiering at cinequest 2019

In what is my favorite coincidence since both the Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney came out with an album on the same day, both This is Our Home and Auggie will be premiering at the 2019 Cinequest Film Festival in San Jose this March!

Click here for tickets to the This is Our Home premiere, click here for tickets to the Auggie premiere. Come soak up that SUN!

jan. 2019


CAPITAL ONE VOICEOVER - “ENO”

Capital One is launching its new virtual assistant, Eno (“One” backwards, clever clever), and there’s a familiar voice telling you all about it.

OCT. 2018


all horrors eve @ the shelter theater co.

Worked on Amara Brady’s new play Angie 4.0 as part of The Shelter’s Peep Show, a collection of seven horror-themed short plays to get you in the ~spooky~ mood. The play calls out this country’s systemic attack on Black and Brown bodies through the conceit of a group dinner with four White people and one Black woman. This play is poignant and moving and exactly the kind of theater that needs to be made, right now and always.

OCT. 2018


COMMUNAL SPACES THEATER FESTIVAL

Had the opportunity to work on Nora Sørena Casey's new play Holding Up The World as a part of The Motor Company's 2018 Communal Spaces, a theater festival showcasing new site-specific theatrical works in unconventional places. The play tells the story of four women, three friends and a performance artist, who meet in a garden to talk authenticity and living unapologetically.

SEP. 2018


indie film - "chill"

Played Lauren, the ~chill~ bridesmaid who couldn't care less about the whole thing, in a Heathers-esque short about a bridal shower weekend gone dead wrong. 

aug. 2018


empire city casino commercial

Look mom! I've got a wheelbarrow of money!

This new Empire City Casino spot has been playing on CNN, ESPN, MSNBC, CBS... once I got the text from my grandma saying "JUST SAW CASINO VID DURING THE US OPEN....!!!!!!" I knew I had peaked.

JUl. 2018


MIC.COM/TRUTH ANTI-TOBACCO CAMPAIGN

Honored to rep a company whose scary commercials used to terrify me! Thanks to Mic + truth for calling out Big Tobacco's alternative facts, and to Ella Bean for being the cutest and most instagrammable dog alive.

Smoking kills. It's time. #FinishIT

JUN. 2018


"GO TELL YOUR FATHERS" PREMIERE

Very excited to share that the short film I worked on a few moons ago, Go Tell Your Fathers, is having its premiere at the NYC Indie Film Festival on May 13th (happy Mother's Day, mama)! Written and directed by Chloe Sarbib and Amy Rosenblum, the film grapples with the immediate aftermath of sexual assault, asking poignant and crucial questions about how we cope, how we move forward from trauma, how we put the pieces of ourselves back together again. Check out the film's trailer here, and come hang at the premiere! 

MAY 2018


THE NEW YORKER MOCKUMENTARY SKETCH - "WE ARE CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA"

Lovely to work with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy again on their new video as the face(s) of the tiny, little-known startup: Cambridge Analytica. Allow me to whisper you sweet British propaganist nothings. 

APR. 2018


this is our home

Wrapped This Is Our Home, a psychological thriller that follows a young couple’s journey through a getaway weekend gone awry when a child arrives in the middle of the night and claims to be their son. The film explores relationship anxieties, delving into what it really means to love and commit to someone — all told through the lens of an overnight psycho-drama. As both Reina — one half of the film’s couple duo — and a producer on This Is Our Home, I am incredibly proud of and blown away by the team that came together for this project. Special shoutout to director Omri Dorani (How To Get Girls), cinematographer Thomas Taugher, 1st AC Melissa Dabback and production designer Dave Zhou. And of course, our little champion actor Drew Beckas who embodied the complicated third character of the film better than we ever could've hoped. Coming soon.

mar. 2018


auggie

Had the immense, immense pleasure of working with an incredible team on the new feature film, Auggie. The film explores a man falling in love with his augmented reality companion, and the consequences that come to pass against his wife and daughter. My movie parents are the incomparable Richard Kind (Sin City, Red Oaks, Inside Out, A Bug's Life, stopping here because my hands are tired) and Susan Blackwell ([title of show], P.S. I Love You, Side by Side by Susan Blackwell, & many more). Folks, let me tell you. These people, this team, I could not be more grateful for them. Coming soon.

FEB. 2018


"WAIT, don't I know you?" - whohaha sketch

"You know when you bump into someone you haven’t seen in years and it turns out they got horrible? And it drives you insane and you think about it all day and you pretty much want to die?" Omg stop WhoHaHa, you flatter me. Elizabeth Banks's comedy site featured this sketch written by Rachel Ellicott, in which Rachel & I act out the impromptu high school reunion no one needs. You're welcome.

feb. 2018


birthright

Went on Birthright in Israel for 12 days! Important to stay a person whilst being an actor. Rode camels & floated in the Dead Sea & ate shawarma 'til it came out my ears. I chalk it up to a win. 

JAN. 2018


that's why i toured yale

Teamed up with the incredible Sam Tsui and Kurt Hugo Schneider to make a new admissions video for Yale! Had a blast returning to my old stomping grounds and getting up to some magical shenanigans along the way. 

dec. 2017


sept. 2017

"to my son" - producers guild 48-hour film contest

Played the role of Jessica--the uptight & conservative wife who is less than thrilled when her husband's, um, eccentric brother shows up on their doorstep--in the short film To My Son. The film is a finalist in the 2017 Make Your Mark Weekend Shorts Competition, a film contest led by the Producers Guild of America in which all short films had to be written, shot and edited entirely in 48 hours. We artists are all young crazy masochists who will sleep when we're dead :-) Screening in LA November 11th! 


EXTRA INNINGS

Played the role of Natalie in the upcoming feature film, Extra Innings. Set in the 1960's, the film is a coming-of-age story about a young man growing up in an Orthodox Jewish community in Brooklyn, caught between pursuing his dream of baseball and staying devoted to his family's traditional values. While coping with the suicides of two of his siblings, he meets and falls in love with Natalie, the Italian & non-Jewish firecracker of a forbidden fruit. Based on the incredible true story of writer/director Albert Dabah. Had an absolutely incredible time working with this team -- Brian Drillinger (Brighton Beach Memoirs), Geraldine Singer (Get Out), Aidan Pierce Brennan (The Punisher), & more -- and will miss the up-dos and high-waisted pants most of all! Coming soon. 

sept. 2017


the 24 Hour plays: nationals

Experienced the adrenaline-fueled insanity that was this year's 24 Hour Plays: Nationals -- six playwrights each wrote a one-act play in 12 hours; we then had the next 12 to put them on their feet. Six fully costumed, propped, produced, staged plays, all brought to life in 24 hours. As Vanda Jordan once said, "You don't have to tell me about sadomasochism, I'm in the theatre." 

aug. 2017


ucb collegehumor live sketch show

Performed with the dudes of Cannibal Milkshake Comedy at the monthly UCB CollegeHumor Live show hosted by Brian Park (though sadly not in Bryant Park). There were laughs, tears, and a truly mediocre Christopher Walken impression. 

jul. 2017


foursquare commercial

Filmed a commercial for Foursquare that had me running around and checking in all over New York City. Also may have eaten an absolutely horrifying rainbow bagel filled with cream cheese and cotton candy. Who's to say. 

Jul. 2017


the new yorker mockumentary sketch - "the startup to end all startups"

Worked with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy on the most important video for the most important start-up that was ever started up. Their product is dynamic, innovative, life-changing. I'm just here to do the voiceover.  

jul. 2017


indie film - "no more lonely people"

Played the lead role of Dianna in No More Lonely People, an upcoming dystopian drama set in a world where your soulmate is assigned by the government on your 23rd birthday. Sam and Dianna made the illegal mistake of falling in love on their own as teenagers, and have to face the consequences of their actions within a system that has no room for outsiders. Coming soon. 

jun. 2017


MUSIC VIDEO - “HEARTBEAT” : DARIUS CHRISTIAN

Had a great time filming the music video for the incredible singer-songwriter trombonist Darius Christian’s new single, "Heartbeat." He’s performed with Macklemore, Solange, Adele, Rihanna, DNCE, FIFTH HARMONY, Bastille, Ricky Martin, Macy Gray, and Andy Grammar, has been on America’s Got Talent, and has been featured in campaigns for Nike, Adidas, Tommy Hilfiger and Cadillac. Your typical underachiever. Click to watch Darius pour milk all over himself!

MAY 2017


cinematcher commercial

Worked on a commercial for Cinematcher, a matchmaking app that connects industry professionals in film, television and media. Essentially Tinder but instead of finding love you find talented film crews! (And I guess, if you're lucky, love?) 

may 2017


BALSAM HILL COMMERCIAL

Filmed a commercial for the artificial Christmas tree company Balsam Hill, will be airing next holiday season! 

MAY 2017


THE NEW YORKER MOCKUMENTARY SKETCH - "MILLENNIAL HOARDERS"

Teamed up with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy to raise awareness about a #serious issue #plaguing our #millennial generation. (Special appearance by Kathryn Kates -- Seinfeld's ever-beloved "Babka Lady"!) 

apr. 2017


tribeca film festival "snapchat shorts" finalist

Thrilled to announce that a comedy short I co-created and starred in is screening at this year's TriBeCa Film Festival! The short, "The Notebook Snapstory", is a parody of Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook shot entirely in Snapchat as per the "Snapchat Shorts" category requirements. Starring Jeff Ayars as Ryan Gosling and myself as the lucky woman who gets to spend a day adventuring with him. 

apr. 2017


IFC Comedy crib - "sport court"

Catch me as a horrible cheerleader in IFC Comedy Crib's new digital series, Sport Court! Written by comedy aficionado Joe Schiappa (MTV, YouTube Red, Second City), the series follows miscreant Judge David Linda (Chris Roberti - High Maintenance, Broad City) trying to run an ad hoc courtroom in the basement of the Hartford Ultradome. Had a great time with Chris, Monique Moses (Broad City, Full Frontal With Samantha Bee) and the whole IFC Comedy Crib team. 

APR. 2017


indie pilot - "agency"

Played the lead role of Veronica in an indie pilot by City Goat Productions about a small Hollywood agency taking names & making dreams come true. Veronica, the all-around badass of a woman holding her own in the boy's club of Hollywood, is just trying to get the respect she more than deserves. Agency will be submitted to many festivals, including the New York Television Festival. 

Mar. 2017


yale thesis film - "peripheral"

Brought to life Chelsea, the quintessential rom-com love interest chock full of meet cutes in the Yale University thesis film, "Peripheral," directed by Gian-Paul Bergeron. The Truman Show-esque world of the film makes a commentary on the blatant lack of diversity and stereotypical nature of rom-coms, thrusting the peripheral background characters into the spotlight. 

mar. 2017


Montclair State thesis Film - "wet"

Played the lead role of Kari in the Montclair State University thesis film, "WET," directed by Tom Hornberger. The film follows a duo of girls who work at Wet World, an indoor waterpark, of which Kari is the vivacious, spunky, lascivious one. Kari helps Bailey, her counterpart, win the love of the new French co-worker. 

FEB. 2017


comedy central - ray wood jr. video

Further honed my music video skills in a new Comedy Central parody music video starring Ray Wood Jr. (Daily Show with Trevor Noah). All I can say is it'll give you a perspective on juice cleanses so fresh, you might even call it organic. 

jan. 2017


NBCUNIVERSAL INDUSTRIAL

Filmed an industrial for NBCUniversal, directed by Chris Weinstein of NBC and Still Films. Top secret, hilarious, a ton of fun. And got fitted for my own personal NBC Page uniform, so what more can a girl want? 

JAN. 2017


audiobook - "well, that was awkward" 

Just completed audiobook narration for the new young adult novel, Well, That Was Awkward by Rachel Vail. Got to go back to everyone's favorite and not at all awkward chunk of life:  eighth grade! Directed by Garet Scott and produced by Sarah Jaffe, the Penguin Random House audiobook is available as of February 2017. Order yours here

dec. 2016


COLUMBIA FILM MFA - "HER BIKE" 

Played the lead role of Georgia in a scene directed by Columbia Film MFA director Chloe Sarbib. Georgia goes to Alden's apartment to return her best friend's bike. 

DEC. 2016


school of visual arts - "JUST MY LUCK" 

Played the lead role of Ali in the School of Visual Arts short film "Just My Luck," directed by Kristen Marques. The short follows a woman having a less-than stellar day, until she meets someone who might turn it all around. Or not. 

NOV. 2016

 


bravo tv - "watch what happens live"

Spent my Halloween trick-or-treating with Andy Cohen as Real Housewife of NJ, Siggy Flicker. There's no place like the Bravo Clubhouse for the holidays! 

oct. 2016


indie film - "GO TELL YOUR FATHERS"

Played the lead role of Logan in the upcoming short film Go Tell Your Fathers, written and directed by Chloe Sarbib (Columbia Film MFA) and Amy Rosenblum (Assistant Director, Heisenberg). The film grapples with the immediate aftermath of sexual assault, asking poignant and crucial questions about how we cope, how we move forward from trauma, how we put the pieces of ourselves back together again. Coming soon. 

oct. 2016


columbia film MFA- "THE GIFT"

Played the role of Alaina in a scene directed by Columbia Film MFA director Victoria Rivera. Alaina discovers an unexpected present in her boyfriend's backpack, but her excitement is short-lived. 

oct. 2016


discovery id - "WHO KILLED JANE DOE?"

Filmed the title sequence for the new series "Who Killed Jane Doe?" directed by Connor McCarthy, premiering on Investigation Discovery in February 2017. All I can say about this one is it involved a lot of me barefoot in a gown in the woods, so, it was a good day. 

oct. 2016


music video - "karaoke" : fly by midnight

Had a blast filming the music video for retro-pop duo Fly By Midnight's new single, "Karaoke." The video has over 122K views and has been featured in SOM Magazine and on music blogs such as Ultimate Music, ReverbNation and Secret Fangirls. Big thanks to TE Music Group for all the fun! 

aug. 2016


Crypt TV® - "RED LIGHT"

Played the role of Karen, the unsuspecting girl-next-door whose curiosity goes too far, in the Crypt TV 15-second scare horror flick "Red Light" directed by Michael Cimpher. 

jul. 2016


Get Out The Good China @ Manhattan Repertory Theater

Played the lead role of Amy, the murderous Long Island housewife whose looks could kill, literally, in Tom Stilwell's 10-minute comedy Get Out The Good China. The production advanced to the final round of Manhattan Repertory Theatre's 10-minute play competition. 

JUL. 2016


Writer @ Above Average

Started as an Editorial Intern at Above Average Productions, Lorne Michael's online comedy network. Have published multiple comedic/satirical articles on their website, www.aboveaverage.com, one of which went viral on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

jun. 2016