Simone Policano

Actor | Producer

Moving pictures



(note: this is solidly outdated, recent footage is mostly Top Secret [aka from projects that have not yet had a wide release] BUT if you have a business inquiry and want updated footage, email me @ and I’ll send you a fancy private link)





comedy central "a star is born” parody

Lived out my lifelong dream of being a pop star with vocal fry in this behind-the-scenes “A Star is Born” parody for Comedy Central. Yes I did wear the green crop top in 19° weather thank you very much. (489K+ views)

the dad “a star is born” parody

So nice we had to do it twice. Second ASIB parody brought to you by The Dad — a shot-for-shot trailer parody starring Dadley Cooper + Baby Gaga. If you’ve ever wanted to see me belt while giving birth, this is for you. (344K+ views)


Teamed up with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy to raise awareness about a #serious issue #plaguing our #millennial generation.

(Special appearance by Kathryn Kates -- Seinfeld's ever-beloved "Babka Lady"!)

Tribeca film festival snapchat shorts finalist - "the Notebook Snapstory"

A parody of Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook shot entirely in Snapchat, as per Tribeca's "Snapchat Shorts" category requirements. Screened at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival!

Starring Jeff Ayars of Cannibal Milkshake Comedy as Ryan Gosling and myself as the lucky woman who gets to spend a day adventuring with him.

ifc comedy crib - "sport court"

Written by comedy aficionado Joe Schiappa (MTV, YouTube Red, Second City), Sport Court follows miscreant Judge David Linda (Chris Roberti - High Maintenance, Broad City) trying to run an ad hoc courtroom in the basement of the Hartford Ultradome. Had a great time with the whole IFC team - catch me as a horrible cheerleader in the second episode!

whohaha sketch - “Don’t i know you?”

You know when you bump into someone you haven’t seen in years and it turns out they got horrible? And it drives you insane and you think about it all day and you pretty much want to die? Yeah.

Thanks to Elizabeth Banks’s WhoHaha for the feature and for existing.

The new yorker MOckumentary sketch - "the startup to end all startups"

Worked with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy on the most important video for the most important start-up that has ever been started up. Their product is dynamic, innovative, life-changing. I'm just here to do the voiceover. 

The new yorker MOckumentary sketch - "we are cambridge analytica"

Lovely to work with The New Yorker and Cannibal Milkshake Comedy again on their new video as the face(s) of the tiny, little-known startup: Cambridge Analytica. Allow me to whisper you sweet British propaganist nothings. 

not comedy!

“This is our home” trailer

Over the moon to share the trailer for the psychological thriller feature This Is Our Home, premiering at the 2019 Cinequest Film Festival. As a producer and one of the film’s three actors, I have truly poured all of myself into this twisted, dark, artsy tale and am so, so excited to share it with the world. Here she is:

College sweethearts Reina and Cory have grown distant after a personal tragedy in recent months. In a last-ditch effort to reconnect, Cory takes Reina upstate to her childhood home. Despite a tense backwoods encounter with two locals, they arrive safely at the vacant, picturesque home and start to settle in. By nightfall, the gulf between them is shrinking as they unwind by the fire, rediscovering their rhythm. That is, until a knock on the door brings them face-to-face with Zeke, a lost child who claims to be their son. Once they agree to take him in until morning, a growing bond between Reina & Zeke sets off a surreal, sleepless night that tests the limits of Reina and Cory’s relationship.


Here's the trailer for the short film Go Tell Your Fathers, which premiered at the NYC Indie Film Festival. The film grapples with the immediate aftermath of sexual assault, following Logan as she tries to move through a family beach weekend -- a once-normal occasion -- and struggles with what, and how, to tell her family. 


Here's the trailer for the feature film Extra Innings, a coming of age story set against the enduring magic of the 1960's. David Sabah is caught between pursuing his dream of becoming a professional baseball player and the pressures of his conservative Syrian-Jewish family and religion. I play the Italian, non-Jewish forbidden fruit — the irony of which is not lost on me, as I had the coolest bat mitzvah in the grade.

"WELL, THAT WAS AWKWARD" - Audiobook Narration

In which I take you back to the wonderful world of middle school, where Gracie likes AJ but AJ likes Gracie's BFF Sienna and then there's also Gracie's really cute boy best friend Emmett but he and Gracie are just friends she SWEARS...ugh eighth grade is so complicated. Order your copy here!

"Simone Policano captures the searing self-consciousness and angst of middle school... [she] handles the story's youthful voices realistically--and is spot-on as the likable but painfully awkward, self-conscious Gracie. Policano captures the humor and poignancy in a quirky story that will be enjoyed by a wide audience of listeners." -- Audio File magazine

commercials (partial):


As the great philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want, but you can get a wheelbarrow of money."

Catch this new Empire City Casino spot on CNN, ESPN, CBS New York + ABC7 Eyewitness News!

foursquare commercial

In which I bring you 30-second content of me in many places looking at my phone instead of socializing because #millennials ! / truth anti-tobacco campaign

Honored to rep a company whose scary commercials used to terrify me!

Thanks to Mic + truth for calling out Big Tobacco's alternative facts, & Ella Bean for being the cutest and most Instagrammable dog alive.

Smoking kills. It's time. #FinishIT

That's why i toured yale

Teamed up with the incredible Sam Tsui and Kurt Hugo Schneider to make a new admissions video for Yale! Had a blast returning to my old stomping grounds and getting up to some magical shenanigans along the way. 

music videos:


This one goes out to the 16-year-old Jonas Brothers fan inside of me, who's certainly still screaming. 

Big thanks to Fly By Midnight and TE Music Group for all the fun!

heartbeat (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO) -darius christian

In which Darius dances around like a crazy person and pours milk on himself and truly what more can you ask for?

Big thanks to Darius for embracing his insanity and also for his incredible use of dairy products.


VENUS IN FUR - "So Is It You?"

Yale University, Off-Broadway Theater, 4/2/16, Footage by John Chirikjian

VENUS IN FUR - "I Shall Deny Myself Nothing"

Yale University, Off-Broadway Theater, 4/2/16, Footage by John Chirikjian

VENUS IN FUR - German Venus Scene

Yale University, Off-Broadway Theater, 4/2/16, Footage by John Chirikjian

VENUS IN FUR - "Idiot Actress"

Yale University, Off-Broadway Theater, 4/2/16, Footage by John Chirikjian